Parenting is a tough job, but one that will lead to endless blessings if done right. One of the ways parenting can give you immense satisfaction is by seeing what kind of person your children grow up to be. To have that satisfaction, you need to have a vision of what kind of character you want your children to have. If we nurture and support that vision, you will reap the rewards.
As the Hadith stated, “When one person dies, all his deeds are cut off except three: an ongoing charity, beneficial knowledge, and righteous children who pray for him” (narrated by Muslim). To get a sense of what kind of character you want to develop in your children, you can take a look at the Qur’an and Sunnah and identify qualities that are praised by Allah. Let’s get into some examples, and may Allah bless us and our children with these qualities, Aameen.
One of the ways Allah exalted His elite group of Messengers is by calling them “Ulul ‘Azm” which means a person of determination. Seeing that it is a praiseworthy trait in the Qur’an, we should definitely encourage ourselves and our children to inculcate this trait in our personality.
To increase our level of determination, we can start by constantly remembering the significance of what we want to achieve. We can also start by making the decision to do only worthy things so that we are not easily swayed when faced with obstacles. Determination is like a muscle, and it will get stronger the more we exercise it.
Another praiseworthy trait is patience. It’s hard to have determination without plenty of patience, so these two go together. Again, to have patience, we must know what the things we are trying to do are all about. Like Prophet Khidr, said, “How can you have patience about something that you don’t know about?”
Knowing the essence of something is a prerequisite for patience. Teach yourself and your children about the virtues of obedience to Allah and it will really help to increase patience in this matter.
Our religion is built around the idea of helping us and easing us in terms of self-control. As human beings, we are always tempted to follow our whims and desires. Meanwhile, Allah instituted the five daily prayers and routine remembrance to protect us from all sorts of temptations. Without adherence to these, self-control is harder to do.
Meanwhile, Allah instituted the five daily prayers and routine remembrance to protect us from all sorts of temptations. Without adherence to these, self-control is getting harder to do. Even the best of us will succumb to cheating without strong protection and that is why regular remembrance is heavily recommended in our religion.
The idea of responsibility is one of the core tenets of Islam and the notion of accountability is strongly emphasized in order for us to realize this responsibility. When you are accountable, you are responsible. Introduce the idea that they always have to answer for their actions and get the children to get used to taking account of everything that is theirs. It will help them grow to be a responsible person.
Honesty is also one of the often-praised qualities in the Qur’an and Sunnah. It’s in our fitrah to be honest, but men learn to lie. Parents teach their children to lie in an unintended way. With our example, be careful not to teach them to lie indirectly. Rather, be aware of what you say and what you do, and make sure that they are truthful. You teach honesty through integrity, and that is making sure you do the right thing even when it feels like no person is watching.
To learn more about some of the qualities that we should pass on to our children, you can enroll in our course Parenting Matters. In this course, you will learn all about parenting Islamically and the course will help you to be a better parent, Insha Allah. May Allah bless us with children who are the coolness of our eyes.